Tebow-ed to Death

Millions of people throughout the world have observed or heard about the Tim Tebow phenomenon. Tim Tebow is the ultra-religious quarterback of the Denver Broncos. He is generally regarded as, at best, a mediocre passer. Many current and former professional football players and coaches do not believe he will ever succeed over the long haul.

However, Tebow has made believers out of many. His excessive religiosity and friendly, “aw, shucks” personality has drawn millions of Christians to him. His confounding success has brought him worldwide attention and admiration.

Tebow often drops to one knee and places his fist to his forehead as he prays. This gesture has captured the imagination of Christians all over the U.S. It has become known as “Tebowing.” Students in some schools have been suspended, supposedly for clogging up the hallways during Tebowing demonstrations, creating unsafe situations.

Tebow only completed 46.5% of his passes during the regular season. However, including the playoffs, he dramatically led his team to four thrilling overtime victories. (This is also known as “Tebow Time.” Teams victimized by Tebow magic are said to have been “Tebow-ed.” Thus his name has become a verb.)

The most impressive game came against the Pittsburgh Steelers with their vaunted top-ranked defense. Tebow only completed 10 passes, but the completions accounted for 316 yards.

Remarkably—or not—Tebow wears the biblical passage John 3:16 under his eyes. He threw for an average of 31.6 yards per pass, and the television rating for the game was 31.6. (Is this just an amazing coincidence or evidence that God is on Tebow’s side?) Tebow ended the game with a beautiful, 80-yard strike for a touchdown. Of course, the following week, Tebow and his Broncos were demolished by the New England Patriots. However, let’s ignore that and just think positive, godly thoughts.

Indeed, some people go so far as to equate criticism of Tebow with blasphemy. For example, Stephen A. Smith is a commentator for ESPN. He has harshly criticized Tebow all season, and is absolutely perplexed by the quarterback’s success.

On January 11, 2012, Smith appeared on “First Take,” a sports talk program on ESPN2. Smith received a voice mail message from his religious sister, praising Tebow and advising her brother to get with the program. At one point she said, “You can’t go against God.”

All of this nonsense prompted “Stephen A” to go to his pastor, where he was assured that it is not blasphemous to criticize Tebow. We have actually come to the point where it is considered in some circles sacrilegious to criticize a quarterback that ordinarily cannot hit the broad side of a barn!

Tebow’s devotees ignore or downplay the fact that he is part of the strongest running attack in the league. Moreover, they ignore the fact that he has a strong defense, and a tremendous field goal kicker. In actuality, the Pittsburgh game was the only one in which Tebow was obviously primarily responsible for his team’s victory.

Perhaps I am too skeptical. After all, how do I explain the aforementioned 3-1-6 business? It sounds like numerology, in which highly imaginative people can manipulate numbers to find apparent relationships in any number of ways. Louis Farrakhan famously engaged in this kind of pseudoscience at the first Million Man March. Yet, how many White Christians were impressed by his so-called “mathematics?”

I am not difficult to persuade. I would have to give serious thought to embracing theism if Tebow would take over after his team started off losing, and he completed every single pass he attempted (no incomplete passes, no interceptions). Imagine if all of his drives ended in touchdown passes and he led his team to a Super Bowl victory. However, nothing like that ever happens in sports, no matter how much athletes bow and pray to their all-powerful God. Let’s face it, superstars such as Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, and Drew Brees would have more of a claim to God’s favor than a struggling quarterback like Tebow.

His devotees have called him the Chosen One, and when he wins at Mile High Stadium, it is often referred to as a “Mile High Miracle.” Yet, there is something about Tebow that bothers me. I am particularly irked by his support for the reactionary group Focus on the Family. This group is patriarchal, homophobic and Islamophobic. Not surprisingly, they aired a television ad promoting John 3:16 while Tebow and the Broncos were getting smashed by the Patriots.

I always have to wonder about even the most cordial evangelical Christians. After all, most of them believe that Jews, Muslims and all other non-Christians are going to hell. Tebow is always squawking about “my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” What does he think about non-Christians?

In the 1970s, Donnie and Marie Osmond were the most wholesome individuals in the U.S. However, not everyone thought they were so wholesome once it was discovered that they embraced the Mormon notion (at the time) that Blacks would not enter heaven.

Where does Tebow stand on the subject of homosexuality? In December, the It Gets Better Project, which attempts to stop the harassment and suicides of LGBTQI teens, asked Tebow and the Broncos to support their cause. They declined. Yet, Tebow and his mother readily supported Focus on the Family and their anti-abortion ad during the Super Bowl not long ago. What’s up with that?

The fact of the matter is that Christian humility is often a mask for the arrogance of faith. A wholesome conservative Christian image always seems to cover (up) a multitude of sins.

What happens if Tebow flames out? Where will the religious fanatics that support him go? Next year NFL defenses might figure him out completely, and he could be history. However, the religious fanatics, with their low standards of evidence, will just happily move on to the next perplexing phenomenon. Perhaps that will be a running back that fumbles 50% of the time, yet still manages to play on a team that makes it to the playoffs, only to get demolished in the postseason.