The generous person will be enriched, and he who waters himself will be watered. – Book of Proverbs
Aphorisms can serve as a kind of shorthand for complex thoughts. They can synthesize important ideas in pithy and therefore memorable ways. While often abused and reduced to fortune cookie readouts or greeting card tag lines, when presented in the proper context, aphorisms can be useful hooks that trigger deeper thoughts and reinforce appropriate feelings. I think of the maxims here as piece]s] of construction that I call Spiritual Timber. Here is material with which to construct a home, one with air and light, shutters thrown open and doors ajar. It is a home of shelter, protection, and warmth. This is the material to make an inviting and expansive home, one that welcomes the world in. This is a home of generosity and respect, peace, and hospitality.
These maxims address life’s yearning to find fulfillment and happiness. At the center of this expression is the belief that all rational people want to overcome alienation and separation and desire to live a life of acceptance and purpose. This goal, I believe, is achievable through self-cultivation. Properly understood, self-cultivation involves developing habits and attitudes that lead to ethical relationships. Joy and happiness result from living properly as part of the human community and natural world. When we are not in harmony with others, when we separate ourselves from the world around us, when we use others, when we disregard and disrespect others, and when we treat others unjustly we become sick in our hearts, for it is the ethical life – a life of goodness lived in relation to others – that allows us to prosper. That is, living compassionately is living happily. Living justly is life fulfilled. Living with equanimity is a life of inner peace. These aphorisms are modeled upon those religious and philosophical traditions that present their worldviews through brief and poetic forms, succinctly, sometimes plainly, sometimes allegorical. Maxims are like the Confucian analects; they are a collection of ethical teachings presented as fragments, to be used in ways most useful to you. I think it is most helpful when these are read in sections, not as a whole, and to be treated as something to be returned to and understood in the light of new experiences.
Many traditions set aside a time to reflect on deep matters. Some call it prayer, others meditation. It is a period of assessing values and behaviors so as to make them more consistent with our highest aspirations. It is a time for re-generation and renewal. It is a time to ensure that the ties that bind haven’t been unwittingly broken or, if they have, to learn how to mend the break and provide the inner strength to put things right. Aphorisms, when properly used, allow for critical reflection. They are, as once expressed by Dr. Matthew Ies Spetter, a 20th Century Ethical Culture Leader, sounds of the heart.
TOWARDS HAPPINESS
Life’s true treasures are always at hand.
Life’s true treasures never belong to you alone.
I can sing alone.
But sing with me and make me happy once again.
Life’s true treasures can never be held in the hand alone.
They must also be held in the heart.
Life’s true treasures can never be held in the hand or heart alone.
They must not be held at all.
When you are grateful, you will know happiness.
As you will see the fullness that you already have.
Gratitude, you will bring joy to others’ lives.
When others know joy, your life will be filled with happiness.
The places of happiness are infinite, the sources never ending.
You inhabit those places because you have to let them in.
How do you know when you have achieved happiness?
There will be a sense of inner peace.
THE IMPORTANT THINGS
These are the important things in life.
Cultivating a good heart, a good mind, and good deeds.
The unimportant things are used and then used up.
The important things are used but never used up.
When the heart and mind, and deeds are right you are good.
When hearts are in tune, the universe sings.
A heart never in tune causes the universe to tremble.
A happy heart is a shared heart.
An educated heart is a generous heart.
An empty heart rattles with the noise of the self in love with itself.
When heart, mind and deeds harmonize, the world is good.
In a good world, everyone can be happy.
LIVING IN TROUBLED TIMES
Everyone knows fear.
You are not alone in the fear that you feel.
To deny fear when fear is warranted is to live foolishly.
To deny fear when fear is warranted is to deny reality.
Anxiety is a source of fear.
To control fear is to recognize reality for what it is.
The changes of nature are inevitable.
Accept them for what they are.
Leaves change, leaves fall.
Leaves return once more.
Nature has no mind; it has no heart.
Natural disasters sometimes happen through no one’s fault.
To accept death is to accept humanity.
Accepting death means you are part of nature.
THE EARTH
Celebrate the human spirit.
Treat gently the earth upon which you walk.
The body is material.
Matter has always been and will be – only form changes.
Rock, hoe, seed –
Each a miracle, each a wonder.
Love the earth as your own body.
This is the way to respect.
Celebrate the seasons.
All are transformed with the turns of the Earth.
Take time to see what is before you.
Then your life can become a thing of beauty.
CONCENTRIC CIRCLES
You are neither the beginning nor the end of all things.
You are the center of all things.
Does the stream create itself?
Can a person be self-created?
Can there be waves without water?
Can there be a self without other selves?
Your existence attests to mine.
My existence attests to yours.
There is no self apart from other selves.
You are human because you are like others.
Your self is not a thing but a relationship.
You are related to people, objects, and time.
The subject that you are is the object of others.
You are both yourself and not yourself simultaneously.
You are what your eye sees.
Only other eyes can see your eyes.
UNIQUENESS
No one shares your history.
You are different from all who have ever been or ever will be.
To deny your uniqueness is an offense against yourself.
To find your uniqueness is a blessing.
You are unique, you are less than perfect.
Awareness of both preserves your humanity.
To learn is to create.
To create is to discover your talents.
To discover your talents is to honor your uniqueness,
To know that you are like others is to honor yourself.
You are because you are part of that which surrounds you,
You cannot be apart from that which you are.
You cannot be independent from your surroundings.
You are only free to be unique.
You are who you are because there are others.
Without others you could not be.
Repay the debt you have inherited.
Those who are and those yet to be depend upon you.
LIGHT IN A CLOUD OF IGNORANCE
You can barely understand what thought is.
Therefore, pay attention to this world.
Reason sheds light, feelings warmth.
Intelligence is the sum of both,
Mindless, heartless.
Which is worse – starving to death or dying of thirst?
A head full of noise cannot hear its own thoughts.
A corrupt mind rattles with malice.
The more you know the more you know how little you know.
It is a source of never-ending wonder.
Learn what to do from the wise, what not to do from fools.
Everyone has something to teach.
Everyone has a part of the truth. No one has it all.
Learn from everyone you meet.
Thought influences action.
Think clearly so that you can act thoughtfully.
Is it possible to be thoughtful without thoughtfulness?
Can a good person be thoughtless?
There is no question, only questions.
There is no answer, only answers.
CHOOSING THE GOOD
If the hat doesn’t fit,
Do you change the head or the hat?
It is better not to injure than it is to do harm.
It is better to do good than to do no harm.
Goodness is bringing out the best in others.
Eliciting the best in others brings out the best in yourself.
Do good and you will become good.
Good thoughts by themselves do not make life good.
Never make less of yourself than you are.
Never think you are more than another.
To be full of heart but not do good is to be not good.
It is how the heart is used that matters.
No one is perfect.
Aim to repair the hurt you have caused.
It is better to be good than right.
It is better to do good than to feel good.
Nothing is perfect.
Still, there is goodness to be had.
A GENEROUS SPIRIT
Generosity of spirit creates a life worth living.
Never promote yourself at another’s expense.
A thoughtful person thinks for herself.
A thoughtless person thinks only of herself.
Is it possible to be a thoughtful person without thoughtfulness?
Can a good person be thoughtless?
Allow each person the dignity of his or her own labor.
Wealth justly gained is honorable.
Wealth unjustly gained is disgraceful.
Wealth kept for one’s self is shameful.
Owning things isn’t bad.
Being owned by things is bad.
Goodness is a gift from those who went before.
Therefore, make things better for those who come after.
LOVE AND HATE
You love – who knows why?
You know joy – does the reason matter?
There is kindness – what love!
What joy!
Love with an educated heart.
What does love mean if you hug too tightly?
What does love mean if the other isn’t cherished?
What does love mean without doing what love requires?
Love can never be learned alone.
It always requires a teacher.
When love is learned well, life is filled with beauty.
When the heart is full of hatred, you will know only ugliness.
To hate what is hateful is to love what is good.
Better than hating what is hateful is doing what is good.
Non-hatred is good.
Respect is better.
LESS THAN PERFECT
Self-delusion is helpful, in small measure.
Self-doubt is useful, in small measure.
Inconsistency is desirable, in small measure.
Accept imperfections, in small measure.
Don’t pursue the perfect.
Cultivate the human instead.
You cannot know everything that is knowable.
Accept that your knowledge is incomplete.
In a desert, a tree offers shade.
In a forest, an opening offers sunshine.
In a drought you say, Rain, rain.
In a storm you say, Sun, sun.
Is water the same once it has fallen!
Is the rain and a river the same!
The door is open.
Has someone gone or is someone coming in?
You cannot know about life before or after.
Therefore, cultivate the best in this life.
THE ESSENCE OF THINGS
What you are doing right now is the most important thing.
This, too, is a moment of beauty.
You can barely understand what a dream is.
How, then, can you talk about visions?
Is there another reality, it will care for itself.
Only you can care for the life you are now living.
In silence you hear the essence of things.
In silence you hear your own being.
To live with all motion is to live as though with no sense.
Learn to keep still – that is the butterfly you hear.
Science is a doorway to the sacred.
It is a tool for self-knowledge.
The wisdom of the past and the dreams of the future are eternal.
They stand here in the timeless present of quiet reflection.
Learn from others what is good.
Examine yourself for what is bad.
Gratitude restores you to yourself.
In gratitude you can witness the miracle of being.
Today is full of the past.
The present is pregnant with the future.
Be thankful for what you have inherited.
You are responsible to use it wisely.
THE MIRACULOUS
“Where did I come from?” someone once asked.
“I don’t know,” was the answer.
“Where will I go when I’m no longer here?” someone once asked.
“Where you once came from,” was the answer.
“What should I do while I am here?” someone asked.
The answer was, “Find the miraculous in your neighbor.”
Some think nothing is sacred, some think everything is.
The sacred is created in acts of loving-kindness.
Within each person is a seed of genius.
With right relations it will flower.
Hold life as sacred.
Treat it with reverence.
Act with care.
Act with respect.
You are successful when others benefit from your efforts.
Unsuccessful when others are diminished by what you do.
To touch is to admit that something exists.
To exist is a miracle.
Touch
Be Touched.
Do it responsibly.
Some plants bloom best when pot bound.
Some die unless wild.
Some plants thrive in dappled light, some in direct sunlight.
Every plant needs proper soil.
The proper soil for human cultivation is respect.
From respect grows the miracle of love.
THE GREAT QUESTIONS
“Is there life after death?” someone wanted to know.
This is the wrong question.
The question is: “How do I best live my life?”
“Is there a God?”
This also is the wrong question.
The question is: “How do I honor my life and others?”
“Is there heaven?” someone wanted to know.
This is the wrong question.
The right question is “How can I make heaven a reality?”
The great questions aren’t about life somewhere else.
The great questions are about here, now.
The questions isn’t “Who is God?”
The question is “Who am I?”
The question isn’t “What does God mean?”
The question is “What does being human mean?”
When the chain of goodness is broken, how should you live?
Do your part to repair the break.
When your heart is breaking, where do you find solace?
By honoring those who are no longer with you.
How do you honor those who are no longer with you?
By embodying their best in your own life.
Be honest with yourself:
What do you refuse to see?
Be honest with yourself.
What do you refuse to ask?
Be honest with yourself.
What do you refuse to hear?
Question yourself.
Change the world.
(This article is reprinted from “The Lost Art of Happiness,” published by Prometheus Books (2011), with special permission of the author.)