What is Mindfulness Rational Living? Glad you asked! Mindfulness Rational Living is the combination of two very powerful approaches that have been proven to help people live more productive, peaceful, and happy lives. The first, Rational Emotive Behavioral / Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a Western influence and the second Mindfulness / Zen is an Eastern influence. The research that now supports these two approaches is impressive. Ignoring this is tantamount to making a public announcement that you simply do not want to live a good life.

In this column I will present the major tenants of these two approaches along with the evidence to support them. In this memorial issue to Paul Kurtz however, I will begin with a personal note.

Grief and Exuberance

When I think of Paul Kurtz today I feel both grief and exuberance. He was my mentor and colleague, but most of all, he was my friend. He stayed many times in our home in Tampa and told my wife Luney, my daughter Nicolette, and me many stories about his life.

Once he stayed with us for three weeks. His visit seemed like only minutes, and fine minutes they were. Every day the two of us would take our morning walk beside the Hillsborough River and discuss the “problems” and solutions of the moment. Every bird we passed Paul would exclaim, “Oh, there is a Pelican.” I’d say, “No Paul, that is an Egret.” We’d walk a little further and Paul would say with excitement, “Oh, there is another Pelican.” I’d say again, “No Paul, that is a Blue Heron.” I laughed to myself and thought, here is a man that has written some 55 books and hundreds of articles, knows the history of the world, made history himself, has a comet named after him, and is one of the leading philosophers on the planet, and every bird for him is a Pelican! How funny and amusing. His exuberance and excitement in seeing his “Pelicans” was apparent. He just didn’t care what name or label we had put on them. His life was this way. He was exuberance! He took interest in almost everything, and yes, he didn’t label animals or people. His kindness and forgiveness was a living part of his philosophy.

In the evening we would eat, drink wine, laugh, and tell more stories until way too late. His stay went past Valentine’s Day. I came home from work with an orchid for my wife and daughter. On the table were two dozen long stem red roses that Paul had remembered to buy for the “women of the house” as he referred to them.

He once went an hour and a half out of his way to pick us up at the airport in the South of France and take us back to his and Claudine’s villa, La Campagne, in Mouans-Sartoux. He treated us like royalty for the four days we spent with them. He was our tour guide in Cannes and the small villages, and country side of Provence – but most of all he was gracious and kind. This is what I remembered most. Here is a man that Pope John Paul II once described as the “most dangerous man in America.” I would warn my wife and daughter not to get too close to him – he was dangerous! They would bend over laughing.

On the side of a mountain in Japan leading to a Zen temple are two menacing figures looking down at the path. You have to pass through them to get to the temple itself. These figures are called Paradox and Confusion – the Guardians of truth.

Paul was a paradox to so many. How could a godless man be loving and kind? It just does not fit into their world view. Why? Was Paul evil and fearful? Where does this come from? Where does grief and exuberance come from? Is Nature kind or indifferent; is it the result of a vengeful and wrathful God coming to reward us for obeying “his” law or to punish us for going astray?

Good or bad, right and wrong, God or godless, ugly and beautiful are all reflections of our own mind projecting outward onto the constant flux and flow of life. This is what this column will be about. We can be no different than what our minds project at every instant. The vast majority of people believe that their feelings come from “out there,” outside of themselves. Conflict exists when we try to get others to “see” the truth, i.e., to see things the way we see them. But if we believe our feelings are caused by others and outside events, we are fraught with paradox and confusion from the start and often stay that way until the end of our days.

The premiere cause of suffering in the world is that people believe what they think. AND more importantly, they believe what they feel. “If I feel it so strongly - IT must be true!” No, it is just what you feel. A case can be made that the stronger you feel something, the less likely it is to be true. By having “any” belief, it automatically puts us in conflict with others. In this column we will examine all aspects of human nature and nature in general.

I will never look at a Pelican in the same way again – and there are a lot of them in Florida. When I see one, I think of Paul Kurtz – grief and exuberance become my reality. Thank you Paul for being my colleague and my friend. But most of all, thank you for your kindness.